This is The Happiest Man on Earth

Been MIA the past few weeks... I know people have missed out on their daily dose of fun. I thought I'd introduce you to my friend Jason, who finds his life is completed with a soft serve cone from Foster's Freeze.

Michigan Football's own Marques "Grand Marques" Slocum does an Online Survey - He Sounds Like Fun!

Football players don't generally appeal to me as good company. However, after reading Marques Slocum's online survey, this guy sounds like a complete winner. I'd relish the opportunity to hang out with him....just as long as I don't owe him any money like Where's Waldo. He killed dat punk mothaf*cka, and that's why no one can find him. I've pulled the best answers out and listed them below.

What is your favorite song of all time?

Just another nigga- state property II

Who do you admire most?

My mom CARLA, dat bitch da shit, i love her i think she da realest bitch alive

When do you plan on getting married?

it dont matta cuz i hope my wife know ima be playa 4 life

How do you feel?

i feel like killin somebody so dont be dat person… lol….not really dont be dat person

Would you rather be hot or cold?

f*ckin warm f*ck dat hot shit and dat cold shit Id rather it be in da middle

Would you rather lose an arm or a leg?

what da f*ck! i needs bof of my muthaf*ckin body parts

Opera, Musical, Concert, Play, Performance, or Other?

opera- no, musical- no, concert- maybe. play- no, performance- fuuuuuuuuuuuck no, other- no

Your favorite Disney Films?

f*ck disney

Where is Waldo?

i killed dat punk muthaf*cka he owed me money

Juice and crackers or milk and cookies?

i want sum milk and cookies

Favorite fruit?

watermelon

Define yourself in 3 words…

im da shit

Do you shower every single day?

shit i at least get a bird bath but yea i shower everyday dis summer its 2 hot not 2

Walking past a beggar, spare change or ignore?

shit ima be askin him 4 sum change

Boat or bus?

bus bitch! i cant swim

What would you do if Michael Jackson asked you out

I be like yea and den ima rob em’, ima steal all his shit and im stealin bubbles and im sellin dat muthaf*cka

If you could have one super human power what would you choose?

come on now i wanna fly i hate walkin dat shit overrated

Have you had a beer in the last week?

shit I downed a forty last night in 2min. and 37sec. yea, beerfest bitch! im ready 4 da boot!

Vitamin Water or Gatorade?

Bof of dem shits is nasty but i f*ck wit gatorade

Do you like bananas?

do u

To read the entire survey, click here.

This Motorcyclist is Retarded

Just watching this makes me incredibly nervous. My fingers and toes tingle with anxiety, and my stomach feels light, kinda like when you know you need to tell someone something, but you get nervous and scared right beforehand....

If You Thought Commuting in Los Angeles Was Bad, Think Again...

Imagine yourself, you just got off of work and it's about 6pm. You get in your car, turn on the A/C and iPod adapter, and you drive home in commuter traffic for about an hour. Maybe an hour and a half if it's a bad day. The only risk you put yourself in is the possibility of missing your appointment with the personal trainer, or running into someone with a bad case of road rage. You aren't, however, hanging from one limb from a speeding train hoping you don't get pushed into the railroad tracks and filleted by a multi ton train.

Global Photos: New Tricks in Panoramic Photography featured in Popular Photography Magazine This Month

These are some amazing photos. An article in this month's issue of Popular Photography features a childhood friend of mine, Ben Frederick, and this revolutionary technique. You can visit Ben's website here, or go to Popular Photography for the entire story and a detailed guide to do-it-yourself globe panoramic photography.

Great job, Ben!

King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters

This is awesome! A new documentary debuting today features a battle between two fully grown men playing Donkey Kong. In one clip, the challenger's 5 year old son runs in the room begging him to stop playing Donkey Kong and to wipe his butt. This is classic American entertainment. If you like mock-umentaries from directors like Christopher Gest (Best in Show, A Mighty Wind, For Your Consideration) then you will love this, and it's the real deal.

See the official trailer here.

Are the Japanese Really As Intelligent As We Make Them Out To Be?? I Know They're Good At Math, But....

I just found this amazing website that is packed full of fun little Engrish mistakes that appear in Japanese products. English is used as a design element in Japanese products & advertising to give them a modern feel and to "look cool". There is often no attempt to try to get it right. The vast majority of the Japanese consumers never attempt to read the English design element in question. (images NSFW after jump)

The Japanese love to do the jackoff and they will sell you products for everyday high prices! Hello, Kitty has been around Since 2008. Whaaaaaa???? We all know that the toilet is a comfortable space for a better life. But please, try not to shit on the floor. And finally, to my Japanese pal Jonny, it looks like you're alone in your hatred for potatoes. Cause the kids love potatoes! WTF?

So spend the rest of your work day perusing Engrish.com for a multitude of fun Japanese slip-up's.

Extreme Mountain Biking on the Cliffs of Insanity!!

These guys are nuts!!

The Newest Douche to the L.A. Scene: Disney's Zac Efron of High School Musical is in Rolling Stone this month

Disney's High School Musical #1 and #2 star Zac Efron graces the cover of Rolling Stone this month. He shares with us that he tries to stay boring, that he's actually singing on the HSM2 soundtrack this time, and how his relationship with co-star Vanessa Hudgens is actually a fabrication to keep those homo questions at bay. See the Rolling Stone article here.

PS- some of you may criticize my mockery of this up-and-coming tween heart throb, but seriously, I just want to kill everyone I see with this lame emo hair. And when they head flip to sweep the hair from their eyes......ugh, excuse me while I vomit because you are so much cooler than me.

Party Like An Armo by Psycho Mike of KROQ Kevin and Bean Morning Show

Poke The Poopie Ass Game. What Are These Games Korean's Let Their Children Play?

What are Korean parents feeding the minds of their young children???


Click here to play this awesomely sick game.

Bollywood version of Michael Jackson's Thriller!!

This is amazing stuff people.

Fun Ways to Mess With Your Co-workers Over The Weekend

We all know the million post-it trick. But here's some bigger and better ones. My number one favorite is planting the sprout seeds in the keyboard. That's just genius!

Too Many Ninjas! Waste Away Your Time in the Office Pretending you're that Little Boy Badass Ninja again.

Click here to waste the rest of your day playing this awesome game!

The Mighty Power of Cropping

See first hand the incredible power of cropping! Especially handy for use on Myspace or for online dating websites.

Watch The Amazing Talent Coming Out of India!

What do you get when to take a flexible little Indian girl and add rollerskates? Stop thinking pervy... you get extreme limbo with 40 parked cars. Watch this little girl go!

Dragonforce "Through the Fire and Flames" on Guitar Hero III is Effing Insane

Crap on my face this looks impossible... Thanks to xkcd for image.

The Average Employee Wastes 2 Hours of Every Workday Jacking Around on the Internets like I'm Not Doing Right Now...

According to the 2007 Wasting Time Survey by Salary.com, the average employee wastes 20% of the workday. The survey asked 2,000 employees across all job levels about how they spend their working hours, found employees waste an average of 1.7 hours of an 8.5-hour workday. This represents a deline from last year.

In this year's survey, 20- to 29-year-olds said they waste an average of 2.1 hours per day. The amount of idle time drops off as employees grow older, with the 30-39 age group reporting 1.9 hours of the day wasted and 40- to 49-year-olds reporting 1.4 hours.

The top time-wasting activities included using the Internet for non-work related purposes, socializing with co-workers, and conducting personal business. Many times, however, these seemingly idle tasks are actually beneficial, Coleman said. For example, talking to a co-worker about last night's American Idol results may appear completely irrelevant, but it helps build camaraderie among employees who will then work better together in the future.

I agree. I do need to build camaraderie within the workplace by discussing the latest episode of Entourage. I need to determine whether Turtle should've just sucked it up and gotten it on in the bunny suit or not...we're talking about imperative information here. Also, how else would I find time to update my blog if I didn't have that 20% of work hours to utilize?

See the rest of the story here. And by the way, the "2007 Wasting Time Survey"?!? Whoever is conducting that survey might be wasting their time, I mean, aren't there better things to do with your life?

Whoa, cool!

Stare at one circle, and the others around it will start to spin!

Kitty Cat Newspaper Filler - How did this get here?